Love your wives as Christ loved the church, and prayed for her

I recently finished a book by Mark Weathers called "How to Pray for Your Wife" (gotta love the straight forward title). The book basically uses Proverbs 31:10-31 (titled "The Woman Who Fears the Lord" in my Bible) to draw out different things to pray about for one's wife.

I personally found it to be very helpful and edifying in every way. First, because it put Michaela in front of me constantly as a subject for prayer. I have enough trouble even remembering to pray consistently, much less praying about the same things, and my wife is certainly in the top tier on the list of subjects I should always be bringing to prayer!

Second, because it accomplished its goal of showing me specific ways to pray for Michaela. My confession here is that the reason I need to be told specifics is that the only things I would think of otherwise are ways that I selfishly want her to change, or things that I need, so she must need them too! It's good to learn unique ways that God has created women to flourish. (which leads nicely into...)

Third, and I think this has been one of the sweetest things, is that as I read and prayed about each characteristic, I realized that Michaela is already endowed with so many, and so much, of the riches of Godly character described in Proverbs. Some things, I previously couldn't put a name on, and others I didn't even see at all. It showed me that I take her for granted, and the whole time she's been a treasure worth selling all my possessions to have.

Fourth, since praying for her in these specific ways, I've watched them flourish all the more. And just to make sure that short-term man memory doesn't ruin it, there's even spots in the book to record answers to prayer.

Paul told men that they are to love their wives in the same way that Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. In John 17, one way we find Jesus giving to his bride is by praying for her. Moments away from aching, torturous, gory, flesh-tearing, nerve-crushing, hopeless death, he does not pray for endurance, easing of pain, or divorce. He prays for the flourishing of his bride, then gives her his life.

If we are called at a minimum to manhood in marriage by loving like Christ by the giving of our lives, then I would submit that a lack of prayer for our wives is a movement to boyhood at best, and at worst (and perhaps more likely) self-castration.

Obviously, a book isn't a must to figure out how to pray for your wife, but Weathers' little book definitely pointed me in the right direction (which was scripture. go figure.), and I fully recommend it. Go find out who your wife really is because of Christ.

My wife is a treasure who is a great reward to me. She is creative and artistic, devoted and strong, full of grace. I love her laughter, and cherish the idol-smashing, God-fearing woman she is. An excellent woman, who can find? Me, that's who.